OMG, Turkey Day’s coming…and if I don’t have a hunky pilgrim on my arm when I show up at my family’s house, I’m going to have some ‘splainin’ to do. I can just see it now…
“Patti, when are you going to find a man?”
“Patti, if you’re such a successful matchmaker, why are YOU still single?”
And the dreaded, “Patti, when are you going to get married?!”
Being single on Thanksgiving is a friggin’ NIGHTMARE compared to being single on Valentine’s Day. Why? Because on V-Day you can have a Leo movie marathon with a bowl of Haagen-Dazs BY YOURSELF. But if you don’t have a date to show off at Thanksgiving, you’re hit with a bunch of questions about your love life from your own family. Umm…awkward!
That’s why I’ve developed a way to sidestep these questions without coming off as rude…even though it’s none of your aunt’s business why you’re single!
Question: Are you seeing anyone?
How You Should Answer: Whether you’ve been looking or not, just tell them you’re content with being by yourself right now. Point out examples of people who have rushed into a relationship only to have it blow up in their face. Just because someone is in a relationship doesn’t mean they’re healthy and happy. Talk about any social hobbies you have and say you’re meeting a lot of nice people that way.
Question: I know the perfect person for you! Want me to introduce you?
How You Should Answer: If a crack dealer on the street offered you a free sandwich, would you take it? The answer is no. The same way of thinking goes if your grandma tries hooking you up with a guy at church. Be nice and just say your coworker already has someone in mind for you (even if that’s not true). You don’t have any details about the person, so plausible deniability gets you off the hook for any further questioning.
Question: Why can’t you meet someone like so-and-so?
How You Should Answer: Anyone rude enough to ask doesn’t deserve an answer. You could just smile and brush it off, OR…if you want to have fun with it, you could say, “Maybe the years of condescension I’ve endured in this family have worn my self-esteem down to a nub, leaving me incapable of meeting a quality partner.” The awkward silence that follows will be your cue to grab another helping of sweet potatoes, just don’t forget to sprinkle!
Good luck with all of your family gatherings this holiday season! The only thing worse than the awkward chit-chat is putting on the pounds, so don’t forget to sprinkle your SENSA on everything you eat! Yes, even dessert!